


the world we're gonna make

by ninwrites



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Future, Communication, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Future Fic, Gift Fic, M/M, Romantic Fluff, Sad and Sweet, Slice of Life, Supportive Magnus Bane, True Love, husbands™, minor // mild angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-29
Updated: 2018-01-29
Packaged: 2019-03-11 00:32:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13513029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ninwrites/pseuds/ninwrites
Summary: “It’s not naive to hope, Alexander.” Magnus assures him. “Hope is sometimes all that we have.”A study on Magnus and Alec’s quest for change.





	the world we're gonna make

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ArtistMow](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArtistMow/gifts).



> Title from ‘A Million Dreams’ from The Greatest Showman
> 
> \---
> 
> This is a birthday gift for my darling force sister, [Mary](https://twitter.com/ArtistMow), who is genuinely one of the nicest, sweetest, most genuinely lovely people that I have ever met; I am incredibly lucky to know you, darling, and I hope this small gift is a tiny glimpse at how much you mean to me. 
> 
>  
> 
> \--
> 
> they say it takes a village, but mine comprises of four darling people:
> 
> love and gratitude to my dearest [Sam](https://twitter.com/alecwinchesterr), for looking over this and yelling enthusiastically in the margins, and to [Madi](https://twitter.com/wideyedmalec), for being the best damn hypewoman anyone could ask for - I adore you both.
> 
> and a hundred warm hugs to [Yara](https://twitter.com/starksdrogon) and [Lolly](https://twitter.com/ohhicutiepie), for the help they offered on the minor details within this, and Lolly especially for assuring me that, with context, they make sense.

 

The door slams open, the foundations rattling ever so slightly with the force.

 

Magnus, to his credit, barely blinks as he finishes the rest of his paragraph before noting his place with a silk bookmark, closing the page slowly, before glancing up towards the doorway.

 

“And a hello to you too, darling.”

 

Alec’s back is to him, shoulders hunched as he breathes, quite deep and heavily if the ripple of his back is anything to go by. He shuts the door, careful this time not to make any outrageous movements.

 

His expression is sheepish and taught, warring between two states, when he turns back.

 

“Sorry.” He mumbles, though it’s audible enough for Magnus to hear. “I didn’t mean to slam it, I’m just-“

 

“Stressed?” Magnus places his book down on the onyx coffee table. “I would never have imagined.”  

 

Alec sighs, toeing off his boots, his jacket flung on the coat rack. There’s a tension to the line of his shoulders that speaks to more than just stress, that betrays the invisible weight of the world Alec carries on his shoulders.

 

Not even Atlas, held the world up alone.

 

“You know, the mundanes have quite a quaint little saying-“ Magnus breathes in deeply, as though preparing himself for a monumental speech. “Sharing is caring.”

 

Alec rolls his eyes, almost immediately, but he can’t hide the fondness the curls his mouth upward, not from Magnus.

 

“You refused to share your Moo Shu with me the other day night because, and I quote, you ‘didn’t make it this far by giving away things that are important’ to you.”

 

Magnus sighs, exaggeratedly. “You’re important to me, too, Alexander, but I was starving and you tried to come between me and my food. I’d been looking forward to that all day.”

 

“I’ve been looking forward to seeing you all day,” Alec admits, sighing. “It is, in fact, the only thing that’s gotten me during the day.”

 

Magnus stands with a grace that feels a lot like puppet strings. “And here I was, thinking you slammed the door in rushed, unbridled excitement to sweep me into your arms and ravish me where I stand.”

 

Alec glances up through heavy eyes. “Rain check?”

 

“Anything you need, Alexander.” Magnus sweeps his gaze across Alec’s kept, albeit rumpled form. “I’m more worried about how you’re feeling than anything else.”

 

Alec laughs, but it’s frail and cracks on the end. “I’m-” He shakes his head, slumping as Magnus walks closer. “I don’t know how I’m feeling. Angry. Hurt. Confused. Upset. A hundred other emotions without a name.”

 

Magnus reaches out, slowly, until his hand is placed to Alec’s cheek, Alec’s skittering gaze dropping to his. “Do you want a drink? Tea? A bath?”

 

Alec shrugs, forehead lined with tracks of fatigue. “Just - could we just, sit for awhile? I know I’ll have to talk about today, about everything, and I will I just-“

 

“Need a minute,” Magnus guesses, inclining his head.

 

Alec nods, grateful that Magnus understands, as he always seems to, exactly what Alec needs. “Yeah. Just to, breathe. I feel like I haven’t been able to all day.”

 

His words wrench open Magnus’ ribs, exposing his heart as it beats in time with Alec’s; but it’s not about Magnus, so he forces the ache down, focusing his attention where it needs to be most.

 

“You take a seat darling, make yourself comfortable,” He ushers Alec towards the couch, one hand hovering against the small of his back. “I’ll set some peppermint tea to brew. Even if you just breathe in the steam, it should help you settle.”

 

Alec sits down, but he’s reaching for Magnus’ hand before Magnus can turn away. Magnus frowns, heart picking up as his worst fears flicker like a series of slides in his mind, unnecessary yet unable to be ignored. Alec’s eyes are lit with a mix of fatigue and something Magnus could only consider as adoration.

 

“Thank you.” Alec whispers, thumb pressed to Magnus’ pulse.

 

Magnus shakes his head fondly, amazed both by how Alec is still, after all of this time, able to surprise him - and, by how part of him still doesn’t get it. “I would do anything for you, Alexander. Now, sit tight.”

 

Alec falls against the couch, eyes fluttering closed as Magnus slips away. He’s worried, because he’s bound to be, but he trusts that Alec is _okay_ , if not great. They’ll talk it out, as they always do, because their relationship is built on pillars of trust and communication and a love that doesn’t waver, despite any obstacles they must leap or jump or trip across.

 

“How was your day?” Alec calls out, without moving.

 

Magnus hides a smile, Alec’s attempt at aversion not a surprise to him. “Not half as bad as yours, from the sounds of it, though certainly better now that you are here.”

 

“Flirt.” Alec quips back in response, cracking open one eye, then the other, to glance at Magnus with across the edge of the couch. “My day is better now that I’m here, too.”

 

Magnus busies himself with the tea, and not the steadfast honesty in Alec’s gaze, that chips away at whatever defences he’d left up during the day; with his glamour comes his walls, usually, and he rarely keeps his glamour up around Alec, but there are some things he keeps at bay for the sake of his own sanity.

 

Nothing stands a chance against Alec, though, and his significant brand of love and truth, not even the small things that he discards for a seeming lack of importance; Alec is the lock to a key Magnus doesn’t even realised he’s clamped shut.

 

“I can smell the peppermint from here,” Alec mentions, sitting up straighter as Magnus brings the tea over to the lounge.

 

“Good.” Magnus cheekily pats the top of Alec’s head with one hand, offering him tea with the other. “That means it’s working.”

 

Alec rolls his eyes, but accepts the tea cup with hesitant fingers, as though one wrong touch will shatter the cup entirely. The white-gold band on his left hand, interlaced with rose, clinks against the side of the cup.

 

Magnus sits next to him, a respectable distance between them, until he knows what Alec needs - sometimes it’s space, others it’s a hand to hold, and when he’s really feeling detached, it’s a hug. Whatever it is, Magnus offers all willingly.

 

“It seems a little redundant to state the Clave’s stupidity.” Alec says, after a moment, the ridge of the teacup pressed to his bottom lip. “I can’t wait for the day I can come home and have something semi-positive to say about them.”

 

Magnus swallows back the bitter taste of scathing retorts, and focuses instead on the hand that Alec unfolds between them, an open-palmed invitation. His fingers curl against Alec’s, tips tightening against knuckle as he raises their joined hands, pressing a soft kiss to the back.

 

“What did the dastardly Clave do this time?” Magnus asks, watching the shadow that falls across Alec’s eyes.

 

“Nothing out of the ordinary,” Alec sips at his tea, slow and mindful. “I’m just - tired, of it all.”

 

“I can think of a rather crass phrase that fits quite well here,” Magnus straightens, exaggeratedly, as though he’s about to spin a dramatic story. _“Same shit, different day.”_

 

A laugh chokes out from between Alec’s lips, skipping across the surface of the tea like flat stones across water. “That’s an, interesting phrase.” He hums in consideration. “Fairly accurate, too.”

 

Magnus hums in acquiescence.

 

Alec plays idly with the silver ring on Magnus’ hand - the center of which is inset with a ruby curved by blue topaz on either side - sparks buzzing beneath Magnus’ skin. It’s distracting as much as it is a technique intent on grounding him, in the moment and not the meeting that almost spiralled into him slamming the Institute doors on the Inquisitor's face.

 

Almost. He does have a degree of professional decorum.

 

“They turned down another proposal.” Alec mentions, after a while, once the silence has melted into comfort and there’s relief to be found in speaking his anger aloud. “I shouldn’t be surprised, I know I shouldn’t, but I just - for a _second_ , a stupid, naive second, I thought that maybe this time would be different.”

 

“It’s not naive to hope, Alexander.” Magnus assures him. “Hope is sometimes all that we have.”

 

Alec stares into the pool of tea, into the curled mint leaves and the pattern detailed on the inside of the cup. “There was nothing in the motion about our relationship, about our intention to marry - it was simply to issue a vote on the status governed towards Shadowhunters to marry outside of the ‘heaven sent’ ranks. To ensure that if a Shadowhunter wants to marry somebody, who isn’t another Shadowhunter, they won’t have to abandon their family, their job, the only life they’ve ever known-“

 

Magnus’ magic is a touch of warmth that Alec has come to admire, the familiar hum of energy across his skin a welcome contact in a time where he doesn’t know quite know how he’s still holding himself together.

 

“It’s not just about us,” he insists, watching with bubbling, misplaced frustration as Magnus shifts the cup to the coffee table, all without lifting a finger.

 

It’s for safety - his own, he knows.

 

“I know,” Magnus whispers, glancing in slight at Alec, lips curled somewhere between bemusement and exasperation. “I also know how you bottle things so easily, and how drastically they explode.”

 

Alec wishes, for a moment, that he had magic, that he could fling items into walls and repair them just as easily, that he could dispel his anger without strapping into gear first and sparring against a partner who doesn’t quite burn all the fury out of him.

 

“There are young shadowhunters out there,” Alec clenches his eyes shut. “Who are like me, who’ve fallen so deeply in love that they can’t bear the idea of their future without it - a future that isn’t even possible because the Clave are a load of-“

 

_“Alexander.”_

 

There’s nothing harsh about the way that Magnus says his name - even now, when Alec is teetering on the edge of a childish tantrum, Magnus is nothing but kind and patient with him.

 

“Sorry, sorry,” Alec attempts to shake the headache from his skull, eyes skating sheepishly towards Magnus. “I don’t know why I was expecting them to be any different. It’s stupid.”

 

“Wanting your world to be a better place is far from stupid. It’s noble. This fight, this cause, is just and fitting and despite how hopeless it all feels now, I know that things will change. We just have to be patient.”

 

Alec scowls. “I’m tired of being patient. I’m tired of having to look _kids_ in the eye and swear to them that there’s nothing wrong with them, even as their own parents are warning them that they’ll never experience love, because it’s not _right._ ”

 

His hands are shaking, he realises, as Magnus’ fingers curl against his, as his other hand makes crescent dents in the flesh of his palm.

 

He’s tired, yes, but there’s a burning _anger_ inside of him that refuses to be dampened.

 

“It’s a tiny, inconsequential step in the grand scheme of everything but it’s a _step_ ,” Alec stresses. “It would show Shadowhunters that there’s nothing - unhealthy or wrong about a relationship between a Shadowhunter and a Downworlder, or even a mundane if that’s who they’re in love with.”

 

Magnus tempers his fingers along the fault-line of Alec’s knee. “It’s important that young people, especially within your people, understand that there should never be a restriction on whom they love.”

 

Alec’s stomach tightens - he remembers what it was like, as clear as if he’d woken that morning to the weight of a marriage he never wanted hanging over his head, an executioner's blade in all but steel.

 

“I would be nowhere if it weren’t for you.” Alec whispers, a shiver tripping down his spine. “Stuck in an endless cycle, a loveless marriage, caught between duty for my family and my people and the screaming desire in me for something _better_.”

 

“You always had a spirit that chased more than you were given,” Magnus’ hand loosens against Alec’s, thumb pressed to his pulse-point. “That didn’t change when you met me.”

 

Alec politely disagrees. “I had no drive, not where my family or my duty weren’t concerned. I was tunnel-visioned, except there was no light at the end, there was only the hope that I’d die in glorious battle and … make something, of my life.”

 

Magnus sucks in a low intake of breath, but Alec isn’t quite finished yet.

 

He twists, so that he’s facing Magnus, his knee pulled up against the couch. He cradles both of Magnus’ hands within his own, taking comfort in the familiar heat, the skip of magic that rests beneath his skin, as recognisable to Alec as the sound of his own heartbeat.

 

“I have the chance, now, to do that. To do something more important than fighting for a cause I find hard to believe in anymore.” Alec doesn’t mean to frighten Magnus, or make him uncomfortable, but there’s a weight to the truth he can’t ignore.

 

“It is because of you that shadowhunters no longer fear being different,” Magnus replies, soft-spoken and gentle, a soothing blanket around Alec’s aching, exhausted heart.

 

“The attitude towards queer shadowhunters aren’t the best, I’ll admit, but they’re leagues ahead of how things used to be. LGBTQ+ Shadowhunters aren’t afraid of being themselves, Alexander, they’re not afraid of coming out because you’ve set a precedent for them. Maybe they won’t be accepted by their parents, an unfortunate reality for far too many, but there are Institutes, such as yours, and groups that will offer the support they need to face the world, as their true selves and not a shadow of who they wish to be.”

 

Alec blinks, the tears harder to push back this time. He knows that what Magnus is saying is true, has been told through letters and face-to-face interactions and phone calls and humbling gifts that what he’s doing, by being open and honest about his sexuality, and assuring others that who they are is perfectly wonderful. But it’s not something he’s used to, not something he thinks that he could ever be used to - knowing that he’s helping young Shadowhunters, who’d been in the same position he was before he met Magnus, is overwhelming at times, and humbling at others.

 

The truth is, whilst he came out for himself, and whilst he does admit that all he’s doing is of his own desire to make sure that nobody ever feels as dark and alone as he did during those days - he couldn’t have done it without Magnus, without his support and encouragement, without his arms to fall into after days that had torn Alec apart, piece by piece until it felt like he was nothing more than skin and bones.

 

Much like today; Alec had collapsed through the door, a bundle of fractured pieces, with the trust that Magnus would be able to carefully stitch him back together. Because that’s the beauty of having a love like theirs - they are no secrets, no point in hiding, no wish to, because there’ll always be warm arms to fall into, or a calming presence to soothe the edges sharpened by hateful, after hateful remark and the burning kind of glare that sits under his skin and itches without reprieve.

 

All of that is left outside the door, the darkness melting away beneath the light and warmth of Magnus’ impossibly generous love.

 

“I never thought I could have this.” Alec admits, shoulders swaying forward without much thought. “Love, real, honest love - I thought that I would have to pretend, for the rest of my life, but I don’t, because I have you, I have … this-”

 

Magnus smiles, eyes sparkling with unspoken words; _I know_ , they say. _But here we are, and how lovely is that?_

 

“If we can have this, if we can encourage change within half a decade, to ensure that all Shadowhunters are respected for who they are - do you think, that we could do more? That we really could get married one day, maybe soon, that others like us wouldn’t have to endure criticism and doubt of their relationships, because nothing will be exempt?”

 

Alec feels like a fool, for asking, but he needs Magnus to say yes, to assure him that he’s not an idiot for fraying his own edges, that there is something here, something real worth fighting for; that there won’t always be a wall in front of them, but a door, the kind that swings open and never locks shut.

 

“I believe, that if we’re determined enough, if we refuse to give up, despite how easy it would be - then, yes, I do think we could reach a point where equality, of every kind, is possible.” Magnus admits, words cautious and sweet like treacle spinning around a spoon.

 

“It may feel like we’re running backwards, but there was a time where people like you and me had to hide their love under the cloak of darkness for fear of persecution - though that still happens, it’s rare, and decreasing with every step forward.”  


Alec wants to believe so. He trusts Magnus, more than anything, but there’s a spot of niggling doubt in his core, a black hole that sucks any ribbon of hope he twists his fingers around.

 

He’s exhausted, and he knows that doesn’t help, and on a better day he’d be able to focus his mind on something brighter.

 

Now? He just wants to curl up against Magnus’ side, and pretend that the rest of the world doesn’t exist, because everything good and happy lies right here, within Magnus’ arms.

 

“Darling,” Magnus coils his hand around Alec’s wrist. “It’s getting late, there’s not much we can do about this tonight - the Clave will still be as tedious and withholding when we wake, and you can fight the gallant fight for justice and equality,”

 

Magnus leans forward, pressing a soft kiss to Alec’s cheek. “And love,” he whispers, nose brushing against the tip of Alec’s. “All tomorrow, at a far more reasonable hour.”

 

Alec sighs, resting his forehead against Magnus’. “That seems fair, and sounds much smarter than wallowing in my own bitter frustration all night.”

 

Magnus stands up, offering Alec a sweet smile. “Of course, and there are much better ways of spending your time, and better people to accommodate your thoughts, right here.”

 

Alec let’s Magnus pull him up, wrapping an arm around Magnus’ waist.

 

“The day you don’t occupy my thoughts is the day I stop thinking.” He declares, letting his thumb rest against the ring of Magnus’ left hand. “Believe me, babe, if I could only spend my time with you I’d be the happiest, most relaxed man alive.”

 

Magnus brushes his knuckles across Alec’s cheek, thumb catching the corner of Alec’s bottom lip. “I’m already the luckiest man alive. Warlock too. Really, I’m covering the board-“

 

Alec pulls Magnus forward, hand placed flat to the small of his back, lips soft and teasing against Magnus’ jaw: he peppers Magnus’ face with kisses soft as the flutter of butterfly wings, his chest bumping against Magnus’, hearts beating in tandem.

 

Magnus lets out a soft relieving exhale when Alec’s lips finally brush against his own, hand curling against the deflect rune of Alec’s neck. It’s a feeling much akin to coming home, a sense that Alec hadn’t experienced despite returning to the loft, the place he does, in all practicality, refer to as his home.

 

 _Perhaps_ , he lets himself wonder, as Magnus pulls back, eyes shining brighter than stars and twice as magical; perhaps the notion of home as a place is only good in physicality.

 

For him, home is not the Institute, and it’s not even the loft — home is wherever his heart is, and that is always where Magnus awaits.

 

No matter what happens, whatever arduous tasks he has to tackle during the day; he’ll always have Magnus to return to.

 

And hopefully, soon if things look up, he’ll have a husband to come to home to. Maybe even a few enthusiastic kids, to run a muck and greet him, loud and excited when he returns, to tackle his legs and tickle his hips and make him grin so wide he goes to bed with aching cheeks and paint-splattered fingers.

 

All of that is a dream for the future, but one Alec is excited for. Any world with Magnus by his side, is a world worth fighting for.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sure what I'll be able to post over the next few months, so I spun this together in the hopes of leaving something sweet before temporary silence.
> 
> once again, a warm happy birthday to my dearest Mary <3 I hope you like your present.
> 
>  
> 
> links - for those interested:
> 
> twitter: [ninwrites](https://mobile.twitter.com/ninwrites) for fic stuff/updates/snippets + [malteser_24](https://mobile.twitter.com/malteser_24) for general fandom mess + small threads  
> tumblr: I've recently moved accounts - now, I have a writing tumblr, which you can find [here](https://ninwrites.tumblr.com/)
> 
> thank you for reading!
> 
> \- Nin ❤


End file.
